The truth is..

The first 5 and half months of my son's life I walked around my home in a fog. I fed him, changed him, hugged him, kissed him, bounced him, read to him, rocked him, and played with him. By month four I even managed to clean my house a couple of times, and started doing laundry again. But still I was completely exhausted.

Sadly, I don't remember many conversations I had with family, and/or friends, and most of the time I remember just zoning out while people talked all around me. I cried once a week (usually on Fridays) after yet another week of feeling completely exhausted, unsure, and overwhelmed.

Luckily I wasn't alone, and it wasn't all bad. On Fridays, Chris would hug me and tell me it was going to be okay and that I was doing a good job. My best friend was always available by phone to cheer me up or listen to me vent. And my mom was here most days for a couple of hours to play with William if I needed a short break or a nap.

Magically, sometime during month 6 I woke up one day and just felt better. I was no longer walking around in a fog, and the exhaustion I felt seemed to subside. The truth is there is nothing I can pinpoint to explain the change. My baby still doesn't sleep much, and I haven't had more than 5 or 6 nights of 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in over 6 months. I am the only one who feeds him, and I am the only one who puts him down to sleep. I haven't left him for longer than a few hours and I haven't had a day to myself in 6 months. I am a stay at home mom who does laundry, cooks (sometimes), cleans occasionally, and takes care of a baby 24 hours a day.

Call it what you want...new parent exhaustion, wacky hormones, postpartum depression,...who knows what it was? I am just glad to be out of it.